Little Corner

I wish

I could write

tonight.

I wish I could tell you all the goddamned things

that inundate my brain,

creep in, tendrils of unease --

how I grasp at friendship in

the unlikeliest of places,

and thrust aside

old friends I have,

how I watch my email count grow higher

and higher,

but never respond and yet

can hold conversations for hours in places

uncommon, uncomfortable, home,

how I try to comfort the woman

who wants me to hold and I hurt

one I wanted myself.

I wish I could explain

how alone I feel, not here,

in every spoken moment of my life

how alone I feel, surrounded,

over-voiced

in a crowd.

I wanted to tell you

that I feel connected in this

dark, lonely room

that I feel alive here

that I feel at home, here,

that I don't

feel the same

in this little corner

of life ---

X----